Their Satanic Majesties Request
by ashura-herman
Summary: Witch Snow White's plight to stop ...Their Satanic Majesties Request...based on Snow White and Rose Red and Snow Drop has coarse language, mass decapitations, and one sex scene not to be missed...it is also told ala Quentin Tarantino.
1. Chapter 1

"Their Satanic Majesties Request"

by ashura-herman

**(Everything in italics is narration from someone else which will be revealed somewhere along the story...along with why does it share a title with a Rolling Stones album)**

Part One

_Now one time down strolled a young cocky man named Rocky Raccoon. On that day, he spotted something very queer. Now normally, the forest close by a dark castle is silent all day. On that day, he heard some wild noises, very weird ones._

_"Oh, shit! What the fuck is that yelping like a coon!"_

_Upon discovery, he found a young dame, a shrieking dame, and seven young people looking onwards._

_"What the fuck! Some sort of witchcraft, eh! I'm gonna get that witch, that should be another mark for the Almighty, alright."_

_But, the shrieking dame came in lurging out against him, with beast-claws._

_"HOLY SHIT! I'M NOT GONNA GO DOWN WITH THE DEVIL YET..."_

_So much for Rocky Raccoon. He'll come back later. In the meantime, the shrieking dame continued with a ritual hoping to revive the young dame that laid down asleep. The short men continued to gaze in great awe. Yet these dames were never meant to come together. By law. However fate pertained something else..._

Part Two

"Now mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful in the whole world, now that my only step-daughter is dead..."

_The one that spoke is none other than the Queen Agatha, possibly more crueler and terriblethan say Czar Ivan was. The one she spoke to was not a someone but a something. That is, a mirror. Back then, however, they were magical objects possibly made by mythical elves (where are they). This mirror however has been darkend by it's previous master...so it now leads new operators to do the same as he did._

_Now the Queen has a story of her own. She was raised in riches, but was never satisfied. Possibly because her parents were so pre-occupied by their petty finances. Anyway, she ran away years ago with a group of deserters to the forest near the kingdom. It is there that she learned that trees were there for reasons other than obscuring the terrain, and that the forest was not as vile and evil as most "christians" envisioned._

"It is still Snow White mistress..."

_Then another witch came into the front. The Queen saw her in fear.Did her only step-daughter died as she said?_

"Snow, yy...you died?"

"I may be Snow White, but a different one..."

_This Snow White is not the Princess Snow White that we envision, but rather more like Pauper Snow White..._


	2. Chapter 2

"A Tale of the Two Snow Whites"

Part 3

_But how did this Snow White come into the picture, eh. Maybe it was a game Jakob played on Wilhelm. But I digress._

_Actually it happened when this S.W. was a newborn. Their mother also gave birth to another young girl which we will meet later. Anyway, their parents were one day accused of witchcraft, which in those days was a very serious offence against God (or at least that was what the Church of the time wanted us to believe). The siblings moved into a secluded cottage at the very edge of the Kingdom (it doesn't matter who's the king in this plot) with their grandmother named Joanna. Now Joanna was a very nice old crone in the fashion of the Old Priests; a wise woman expertise in herbal medicines. Under this new household, much happiness was ensured, but not for long. _

_One time, three heavily armed men came into the house._

"IN THE NAME OF THE QUEEN AGATHA CORLEONE, OPEN THE DOOR NOW!"

_This startled the siblings and Joanna._

_However the guards kept on pressing._

"YOU ARE BEING HELD FOR PRACTICING WITCHCRAFT! OLD WOMAN, DON'T MAKE US BREAK THROUGH!"

"Shit!" _Joanna gestured as her grandchildren began paniking._

"Okay girls, the time has come for you my dear grandchildren to run away; for the accursed God's men have been sent for my blood. Remember what I told you about coming back here?"

_They did. And this is how they remembered:_

"If you should run into any kind of trouble, never lead it back here. If any trouble comes into this nook, by all means run from it!"

_So they ran. They ran and ran and ran._

_Eventually, Snow White fell down from exhaustion. Her sister had left her, as she thought. She looked around, and saw another cottage, but somehow smaller and dirtier._

_(This is a modified version.)_


	3. Chapter 3

"Runaways"

Part 4

"Holy shit! I'm in deep fucking shit!"

_This was Randall; the one intended to kill Princess Snow White. However, at the last minute, he decided that he couldn't follow through the Queen's instructions. And so he had her leave the castle perimeter. He too decided to escape himself, for he feared the Queen's Wrath…especially the thought of him being tortured and then killed…_

_Since he had no family of his own, he became lonely and afraid in the dark forest. It was there that he encountered a red-haired girl, who looked very worried._

"Do you mind if I talk to you. I'm lonely."

"Okay, old man. But my worries stem from me being separated from my sister for so long. O, how I long to just see her again."

"You're attached to your sister?"

"Yes."

"Lucky! I have no family of my own."

"Gee, that's sad. However, you don't experience the loss of relatives like I did. First, my parents and finally my grandmother were all killed by fanatic Christians…"

"Fanatic Christians? Did they mean well?"

"NO!"

"Okay…continue with your story." _He became very interested._

"Anyway, my sister must have taken a bad step, or else I wouldn't be here looking for her."

"Can you tell me your and your sister's names? My name is Randall, and I used to be a huntsman for Queen Agatha."

"QUEEN AGATHA?!" _The girl was surprised by the mention of such a name._

"Yes."

"What happened?" _The girl wondered._

"I was sent on a cruel mission from the queen to execute the Princess as shamelessly as possible. The princess seemed too pretty to be covered in her blood and gore…"

_The girl wondered in amazement and then in horror._

"Does the Queen want her dead? And if so do you know why?"

"To be honest, I don't know why Her Majesty wants Princess Snow White dead?" _he said regretfully._

"Well then, we must hurry up before the Queen mixes up the Princess with my sister. My sister looks like Her Highness, but with longer hair. And worse, she's also named Snow White."

"Well then, we can go together to find the both of them, miss…"

"Call me Rose Red, Randall."

"Okay Rose, let's go!"

_And so, these two people continued to walk through the forest to find the two Snow Whites._

Part 5

_A trail of blood led to the same cottage that Snow White (Rose Red's sister) found herself in. She didn't know how the blood got into this cottage earlier. All she knew was the smell of boiling cabbages and stewed rabbits that she would cook to the proprietors of the cottage; and there were seven of them, and they were far shorter than any man. They were miners in one of the Queen's mines were they were forced all day to dig a side of the Mountain for valuables: gold, sliver, diamonds, crystals, and so on. And so they would come home tired and hungry and not having the time for basic housekeeping._

_The leader of the group, named Melochier, said this about Snow White's first appearance: _"Why how terrible your plight must be. Of course, we also loathe and fear the wicked Queen. You must take shelter with us. You can clean up the house while we are in the dreaded mines making riches for Her Majesty. And everyday we come home tired and hungry. You can also cook us up supper for yourself and us."  
_Another miner, Jasper, said this: _"You look the Princess herself…you even have her name as well. And she is the most beautiful person I have ever known…"

_Yet another, Erick, said this: _"Hold on…(holds nose)…wait Snowy, give me a handkerchief…AAAHHHHCHOOOO!"

_Marion: _"Please forgive me…but…(yawns for a long time)…yes…I often get…(yawns)…the most sleepy…(snores)…"

_Anslon: _"OH GEE! WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME (shakes her hand in an exited fashion, begins winking)! ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE FUN TODAY…"

_Nelson: _"DO WE NEED ANOTHER FUCKING MOUTH TO FEED!! OH YEAH, ANSLON, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE DON'T NEED YOUR HAPPY BULLSHIT!!"

_Another one, named Jarin, was mute and couldn't say anything. But he also expressed enthusiasm in the same manner as the rest of the men (except Nelson)._

_Anyway, Snow White could not feel more at home, but she felt she was safe, and that her sister could find her soon…_

_In the meantime, someone was watching her already…_


End file.
